Stories of little miracles and much welcomed visitations from Terry.
Lil Red is Back!
A visitation for Kris
About two weeks after Terry passed, he came to me one night in an indelible visitation. I walked through the front door of our home and off to the left side of the gigantic living room, in front of the fireplace, was Terry's beloved 1972 Mercedes SL, his shined-to-the-max "Lil Red", as it was known to all of his Hollywood friends. I hadn't seen that ride since we sold it sometime in the '90's as a restorative project. When I saw the car, my heart start palpitating like I've never before felt. I KNEW Terry was in the house. I called out frantically, over and over and went looking for him. Around the corner, at the front of the hallway leading to his room, there he was ️ ~ olive gray cargo pants, long sleeved dark blue T, an African mud-cloth kufi hat ~ in his prime, tall, fit, healthy!!!
I cried out to him "OMG, TERRY!!! You came back ~ I KNEW you'd come back!!! Oh man...Terry..." He was semi-facing the wall. He didn't say anything to me, he didn't look at me, he simply turned and began walking down the hall...no words at all but I knew he wanted me to follow. As he got to the door of the bedroom, I reached out to touch him and poof!...he shimmered away. Back to his light. Just a moment to assure me, that indeed, he is just fine... That he's still alive somewhere close enough to remember us, to look in on us... That remembering his earthly being in that tangible form as Terry Easter is a part of his eternal journey that is just as important to him as it is to us.
This life we're given is so intricately layered with complexities of existence we'll never understand... yet we can *feel* the presence of those who have passed on but been so vital to us. Terry hasn't really left any of us. Check out the odd-shaped rainbow in the sky sometime
A Vision of Grandpa
A conversation with Mikah
I laid down on Dad's bed after a long day working on the deck.
Mikah: "Hey someone's here!"
Me: Really, who?
Mikah: "Grandpa! Look! He's right there." He pointed at the empty hall. "Come on in." He walks up and opens the door to the room even wider to let his vision of Grandpa in, then closes it behind him. "He's gonna lay down here with us." Mikah climbs up on the bed and lays on the pillows. "See, he's laying with us."
Me: Wow… this is exactly how we used to have our talks at the end of the day.
Mikah: "He's so cool." He looks at Luke's Easter's big photo on the wall. "Grandpa used to play baseball?"
Me: No that's Grandpa's daddy, Luke Easter. He was a famous baseball player.
Mikah: "A famous baseball player? He was cool too?"
Me: Very. They were a lot alike, their personalities.
Mikah: "You look like Grandpa."
Me: I hear that a lot, but I love hearing it from you. You look a bit like him too.
Mikah: "I look like Grandpa, you look like Grandpa. We all look like Grandpa!"
Me: I'm so glad we do.
A Moment Under the Moon
A miracle for Ani
Everyone in the house was asleep but me. I laid on the white couch and gazed through the window at the full moon, which was shining through a softly transparent cloud covering. Daddy visits me in rainbows. Not the traditional kind. Small ones in uncommon shapes. Twice in little concentrated rectangles in the vast sky that only make divine sense.
This time it was a circle around the moon. And I know from lunar halos nature does that in the right conditions so that wasn't the exceptional thing this time, just the wink I needed to know he was there. As it had every other time too, when it hits me that he's here everything in my body slows as I feel my soul open up, wanting to soak in the most of the connection. Wanting the world to stop spinning so I can have a moment with my Dad uninterrupted.
I saw the cloud cover would soon be coming to an end which meant the rainbow would too. It was breezy up there, the clouds were floating quickly. So I held the moon's gaze with the purest appreciation and focus I could. Cherishing every nanosecond I had face to face with my dad. Thinking how much I didn't want this to end.
The clouds slowed down, and sped back up again. Surprised at the shift, I tried it again. "I don't want this to end."
They slowed down again. And even more. And then, they crawled to a stop. I stared at the moon and the pattern in the clouds and yes, it was completely, entirely, utterly still, as if it were a photo and not the living world. Oh my God, Dad. We stopped time!
The thing is, I know about saccadic motion. But the length of the gaze was longer than that, and I was able to shift my eyes to different parts of the scene during the stillness.
I blinked and the cloud began to travel north. I focused intently and watched them inch to complete stillness again. We did this eight times before the cloud cover reached its end. Each time, when the frame went from slowly moving to absolute stillness my heart jump with glee over witnessing the impossible. Of love and will overcoming all fundamental things we accept as reality. Eight miraculous moments where time itself was, in whatever layer of reality we were in, put on pause so we could hold on to each other just a little bit longer.
A Long Awaited Visit
A beautiful dream
I'd wrapped my arms around his urn of ashes in a tight and careful hug to carry them to Mom. But as I began walking down the hallway…
I peeked through the doorway to his room and past some blurry things in the forefront, saw his forearm on the arm of his black leather chair. It angled as he started to stand up and the top of his head began to rise into view. A rush of excitement raced through me - is it him?
I quickly sat down and looked to the floor unassumingly, in hopes of not disturbing the energy too much because more than anything, I didn't want this gift to suddenly dissipate or him to vanish before I could touch him. I wanted to let this moment happen to me. I saw footsteps coming towards me and glanced up, it was a shorter man, no one recognizable. I was disappointed. I glanced back down to let him pass. But a moment later, his steps stopped in front of me. I looked up - it WAS Daddy! He'd been kidding, playing with his new powers, which was so very him.
It was him. Finally, him.
"Heyyyyy," he sang, "COME on back here!" He laughed in his signature playful way, gesturing grandly to the room. Leaned over looking back, beaming, gleaming white teeth, jovial as I've ever seen him, big, solid and strong, bright red shirt, black jeans, black Kangol hat, significant white in his beard.
I jumped up and suddenly was outside of the scene, watching us, seeing myself from a few feet away standing before him in his arms. "How you doing?" he asked me softly. All that felt worth saying is how much I've been missing him, and loving Mikah. Mom excitedly asked him to tell me how it works, that apparently he has to schedule these visits.
I felt the end drawing near and he physically began retreating, not of his own desire or control, but because time was up. With the last few seconds I had, knowing I couldn't play small and miss this chance, I took his face in my hands and rushed to kiss his cheek and hug him tight and told him over and over again that I love him. That I love him so very much. To please, in any way there is, to stay connected to me. I ran my fingers over his soft curls and felt my heart clamoring, begging to not have to let go of this again.
I woke up breathless with tears streaming down my face. We'd had to say goodbye again,
But more importantly
We'd gotten to say hello again.
He'd come back to me.
In prime form as I knew him best.
To show me through seeing, hearing and feeling
That in all the specific ways I know,
He still my Daddy
Whose same attuned spirit and sense of humor will continue to exist
In all the unique and familiar ways I love.
And that love truly transcends everything humanly possible.